Wednesday, February 27, 2008


Painting I is a great class so far. I have an instructor that can talk as long as the Great Wall of China, w/ extensions. I'm finally using oil paint instead of acrylic. Just as I expected, oil takes a while longer than acrylic to oxidize. Having the medium dry slower is a benefit as far as being able to blend easier. The downside is the same reason why I like it. I always end up having some paint lifted off the canvas on my hands or arms when I try to pick it up.

Our first real project was to paint a still life, only using the gray scale. Then at the end, we had to add a shape of one color on to any section of the piece, just so long as there's more than one tone included w/in the shape.

My critique: The paint can could've had some more work done. The choice of color and placement wasn't a great one; it's hard to see any range when blue is added on to black, plus I think the face was the strongest point of the piece before the shape was added. The apple, though, is painted the actual way the real apple was shaped. I could've added some text on the binding of the books, 'n created more reflection on the paint tube (bottom left of can).

I was surprised I ended up w/ an A- b/c the instructor expects a lot in this class 'n doesn't really give out pats in the back a lot.

I can't wait to start on our new project. No, I won't do any more creepy cabbage patch dolls, or clowns.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


You all remember your firsts. The first time you had a crush; the first time you kissed someone other than your mother; the first time you fell in love, or infatuation; the first time you had a sexual experience; the first time you were in a relationship; the first time you had your heart broken. I'll always remember my first boyfriend, 'n all the firsts we've experienced as a couple.

I remember the first time we’ve met. As I rode shotgun in his truck, I nervously made conversation, hoping my confident fa├žade would impress him. I stuttered here ‘n there, brought up random topics ‘n couldn’t focus on one; I didn’t fool him. On the way home, we rented the movie Click. Good, I thought, he seemed domestic. I wouldn't want to keep in touch w/ someone w/ only one thing on their mind. But let me be real: I had only one "thing" in mind at the time.

Meeting Daphne was fun. I couldn't recall ever seeing or touching a dalmatian, let alone one w/ spots perfectly distributed around the body, 'n a stomach that can count as a two-pack. The first interaction between him 'n "Daph" made me mistakenly guess her age, as she stood up on her two hind legs, having a boxing match w/ her "daddy."; I also second-guessed his age, seeing how energetic he was w/ his best friend. It was cute. I never knew Dalmatians "smiled." I could've sworn she was going to rip his face off as she snarled 'n snorted; the only thing missing was foam dripping down her mouth. But it was all just another playful game between man 'n his dog.

I remember the first time I called him just to say good night. I was eating out w/ a friend, 'n we were both talking about the guys we were focusing on. He was already in love, 'n I didn't know if I was or not, but I really liked the guy whom was on my mind. I decided that I'd give him a call. I didn't feel obligated to, but I wanted to. It felt rewarding to reassure him that he was still in my thoughts by saying good night to him. My friend said it was sweet of me that I did that. I remember I used to be the one that'd say, "Awww, that's cute," to a friend who would say sweet things to his or her partner, but now I was in the moment. I then knew what it felt like to be commended for doing something so small 'n effortless, yet w/ a great impact. This pattern grew more into the future. Now I always put him to bed, then we kiss each other, I kiss him on the forehead, we say I love you to each other, 'n I leave.

I can recall our first fight - if you can call it a fight (I consider it one if one or both of us gets hurt). He got tickets to a Padres game. The location of the seats were more than great; we were basically on the field right next to the third basemen. Padres fans around us were within earshot of the third base referee (is that what you call 'em?) 'n had the liberty of making rude comments to him if he made a bad call. The whole game was great, as our home team won, 'n we were there to see Trevor Hoffman's 500th save of his career (I guess that's significant. 500 is a pretty big number). The night couldn't get any better, w/ our hands clasped 'n fingers intertwined as we drove away from Downtown. However, on the way back home, some misunderstanding took place as words exchanged, 'n it led him to withdraw his hands from mine. He put in a James Blunt CD, having the song "Goodbye My Lover" blaring out of the truck w/ the windows down. I couldn't stand the loudness, 'n the song, so I wanted him to turn it down. The ride home was silent, 'n no more words were exchanged. As he dropped me off home, I said my thanks, but no kiss. As he made a U-turn at the intersection next to my house, his wheels screeched. I slept that night feeling empty, as if the whole fun night was invalidated b/c of a stupid misunderstanding. The next day at his house, I raised my arms out for a hug, 'n we both knew what for. W/ his face buried into my shoulder, he muffled, "I don't like fighting w/ you."

'n that was our first make-up.

To be continued.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

At it Again

So, I'm at it again. I'm out (but not totally) 'n about, gallivanting in the bloggersphere. The abrupt retirement from my old blog is in the past now; change is, after all, constant, 'n change of a new blog was necessary for me to have a smaller sense of paranoia. I've disregarded the fact that I can be easily found by peers. I've also underestimated The One who caused this paranoia in the first place; I forget, now 'n then, how powerful He is. Yes, you know Him, 'n His name starts w/ a capital G. You guessed it: Google. How can I be so naive to think that my blog wouldn't be found by Googling a 19 y/o porn star's name, or trying to find out a teacher's e-mail, so you can find out what the English homework was?

I have no doubt that this blog will be found one way (Googling) or another, but there will be careful consideration of the information I'll put in here. It's hard to keep a certain level of discretion when there is so much to share; from life-changing experiences w/ the boyfriend, to some random dialog I had w/ my mom.

No matter what, though, I want to keep this blog for deeper introspection than I do before I head to bed. Deleting Change is Constant was a big deal, as far as having news to tell an audience. I don't keep in touch w/ my many friends nowadays, as I'm occupied w/ focusing on school 'n my great boyfriend. I won't make this blog an obligation, however. I will not be guilty if I miss a day or two of blogging, b/c you 'n I both know that an abundance of time is what we do NOT have.

Out of my 5 classes I'm taking this semester, there are 2 that I look forward going to class: college composition writing 'n Sci-Fi 'n Fantasy literature; both English classes, back-to-back. My professors have inspired me to blog again, as I learn how to improving mine Eanglesh, 'n read an average of 100+ pages of novels a week. My writing professor has makes learning how to write a surprisingly fun time for a good hour; I'm always listening intently, 'n thinking about how I can improve my blogging skills. Dr. P. is enthusiastic when he teaches his class, 'n the same is evident in Dr. M., who is the more stern voice for soft-spoken Professor P.. Dr. P. has inspired me to read 'n look at Sci-Fi 'n Fantasy literature in a whole different perspective. Actually, she reminded me that Sci-Fi was the first genre I fell in love w/, as I've read The Giver by Lois Lowry over 'n over 'n over, wondering if Jonas has made it to Elsewhere.

This semester's looking up for me.

This blog's theme is somewhat neutral (not solely for political views 'n the like), b/c I don't want to limit myself from posting a gamut of topics, like school, sex, relationships, friends, everyday life, politics, sex, 'n some sex; I want this blog to have personality 'n life, so it can make mistakes, 'n learn from them. It's a blog that is in progress of reaching a status (but not necessarily the primary goal) of well known gay blogs, like Glennalicious, and political Joe.My.God., 'n the like. This blog, though, is still young, just like me, but it has potential.

So, your blog friend, Doug, has resurrected 'n will keep you posted w/ breaking news, like Britney Spears' life.